As Zane played happily with the new toys in the examining room, the doctor we got to see (not regular doctor, we were a slip-in visit) asked me all the usual questions: does he have a fever? is he sleeping well? how is his appetite? She looked frankly skeptical when I told her that I had measured his fever only by feel, and suggested I get a thermometer. Like I don't know what a fever feels like! Anyway, she pronounced his illness viral, probably going around and around which explained why he's had it so long and gotten a fever again. Then I got tut-tutted for letting his immunizations slide for so long, and he got a stabbin' in each thigh, poor fella.

We took the bus home in the rain.

When I got home, Matt and Drew were upstairs tucked into bed, Drew with a raging fever that even Motrin barely put a dent in. He's at home today with Matt and I took Zane into daycare. He was the only kid there when I dropped him off.

I called home this morning to wish Drew a happy birthday:
Me: Are you feeling better?
Drew: Uh huh! A very lot better.
Me: That's good!
Drew: My mama gave me some medicine.
Me: This is your mama. You're talking to your mama.
Drew: Yeah. My mama's at work!
Me: I'm your mama!

Etc. He called me back a few minutes later to say 'Hi Mama! Am I four?' and I said 'Yes! You're four years old!' and he said 'Ok! Bye!' and hung up.

And Nanny just called as I typed this, and Zane has a fever and needs to go home. Oy.

No one reads explicit instructions. No one does simple math.

Q: How many minutes a week do you do light or moderate exercise?
A: 30 minutes daily, 5 times a week
A: 4 hours
A: 1 hour on Monday and Friday

Or they answer 'no' to a question and then proceed to all the 'If Yes' subquestions.

Or, given a numeric scale, insist on picking the space between numbers.

It is pretty innocuous to anyone but me, I realize. I also realize that the questionnaire filler-outers are volunteering to do so. But is it too much to ask that, when the question says 'If no, go to question 5' they go to question 5 when they have answered no?

My boy is going to be four on the 7th! FOUR! Aiee!

***

I said to Carole: I'm getting these cracks at the corner of my mouth that get all crusty and sore, do you think they're cold sores?

Oh, 'fissures', she said. Probably not cold sores. So, because I am a dutiful daughter of the internet, I look up 'lip fissures'. And the internet, being a knowledgable and accomodating parent, tells me I have Angular cheilitis caused by vitamin deficiency. A vitamin deficiency. I bought some multivitamins.

So when the machine that sells 'Dog Bonez' candy at Safeway ate our quarter - specially saved for a trip to Safeway - we stood at customer service, explained what happened and asked for our quarter back, please.

And when the red marker in a new package of Twistables failed to twist, I put it in my purse with the package and told him that I'd call today to get a replacement.

Which I did. The service rep spoke slowly and clearly and was very kind, how I imagine favourite kindergarten teachers to be. I'll be getting some vouchers in the mail to replace the markers 'as I see fit'. To finish the call she told me to have a colourful day. Though I suppose what she really said was a 'colorful' day, since her low, kind drawl gave her away as an American.

Neither of these instances are life-shattering and weren't made a big deal of, but I hope Drew retains the underlying message. I hope he never starts muttering about his red Swingline stapler.

In other news, we spent a mint getting our car fixed again. It no longer sounds like a low flying jet is following us around.

A conversation with Drew last Saturday:

Drew: Mama, I love Zane.
Me: Me too!
Drew: He's a cutie.
Me: Both my boys are super cuties.
Drew: Yeah. And Zane's a potato!